Whiney Mass Murderer Breivik Complains, "I Am Not Allowed Moisturizer"
Lowering The Bar blogs about Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik's turn as the Goldilocks of jailed, cold-blooded killers, as he writes a 27-page letter of his complaints to the country's prison service. These, according to the BBC, include:
•his coffee is often cold;
•he has to "rush" when shaving and brushing his teeth;
•his cell is "poorly decorated" and has no view;
•he is not given enough butter for his bread;
•the TV switch is outside his cell; and, most diabolically,
•he is not allowed moisturizer.
Lowering The Bar continues:
Oh dear. We are sorry, sir. Was the Chateaubriand not to your liking? Wine not properly chilled? Perhaps the presentation of the Bananas Foster was insufficiently flamboyant. The explanation may be that the chef is new, or possibly that YOU ARE A MURDERING PIECE OF TRASH. I'll check, sir.... Yes, it is the latter. It appears one's hands will remain chapped for the foreseeable future, sir. Perhaps they have moisturizer in Hell, sir, although one thinks it unlikely.